First Days In Motherhood

For a while now I've been wanting to write about my experience giving birth to my twin sons. They are now seven and a half months old and back in January they arrived in the most unexpected circumstances (for me). My pregnancy had been a wonderful one, very tiring during the first trimester but other than that (and the fact that it was a twin pregnancy) it was a normal one. At twenty nine weeks everything seemed to be full speed and our twins were expected to arrive around 35 weeks @ approximately 7 pounds each!!! At 31 weeks one day after I was put on bed rest.... the next day I started contracting.

When I got to the hospital they tried to stop the contractions but couldn't, after maybe two and a half hours I was in the OR and the boys were born. At that moment it had not sinked in, that I was gonna go home without them and that they would spend a month and a half in the NICU. For that first month in 'motherhood', life was a roller coaster, recuperating from a C-section, the disappointment in myself for not making it to at least 35 weeks and the result of this, our babies in the NICU.

Just like I had never thought I would have twins, I never thought they would need to stay in the hospital once I went home. I had a few months to get used to the idea of twins, I would have to learn day to day the ups and downs of having a baby in the NICU. It certainly wasn't easy, and at times, my determination to breastfeed them only made the situation worse. My body did not respond the way I wanted it to and by the time I decided to stop I was only producing an ounce of milk. Between my frustration with breastfeeding and the stress of the NICU it was hard to enjoy those first few weeks in 'motherhood'. After five weeks, as I was telling my aunt how Sebastian wouldn't breastfeed and the faces of disgust he would make, she started to laugh! Her laugh reminded me that I would only live each day with my sons once and I would have only one shot of making the best out of each day for me and for them, regardless of the circumstances. I have to say I felt much better after realizing this and soon I had both my sons with me at home.

Exhausted is a pretty accurate word to describe how we felt those first few months waking up every three hours to feed, no breaks, since we each had to feed one. But I have to say, once they started sleeping through the night the difference was like day and night. Even though we still feel exhausted at times, exhaustion has faded to the background as their smiles, giggles and voices take centerstage. As they say: 'you learn as you go', in this case they've been teaching me since day one how to be the best mom I can be for them.

Just Moved, Twins, Stay @ Home, etc.

My name is Raisa and my family and I just moved to beautiful Colorado. My husband will be attending doctoral studies and we have decided I will take care of our beautiful twin boys: Diego and Sebastian.

At this point in the day, early afternoon, lots of bottles have been fed, lots of bottles have been washed, lots of diapers have been changed, lots of little messes have been made (mostly at the hands of my husband and me). And in between I am attempting to write this blog. Write one sentence - change a diaper - another sentence - feed two babies - another sentence - put them down to a nap - another sentence - one 0f them cries/ or maybe both. So if overall this blog doesn't make much sense, just bear with me as I try to make this work ;).

Aside from being a place where I can come and share what goes on, I hope to share interesting links or stories, keep my family updated on D&S experiences and just enjoy being part of the blogging community. I look forward to hearing from you!